Will Sellari (cutoffhisarm) wrote,
Will Sellari


These are some of the things I've been thinking about lately, and here's some of the music that's been playing while I do so...

I'm an adult, it's official. I was standing on my porch, in a neighborhood full of other families; and while my first thought was "Fuck them, this is my street." I also also realized that being an adult gives you too much time to ponder things...like that. Further, more you get nostalgic about things the more amalgamated those memories become with a sort of half-breed version of the person who you aren't yet but need to become. It's almost as if you're brain needs to make unnecessary and irrational conclusions about your past in order for the association centers of your brain to revolt and pendulum in the other direction. With that said though, I remember speaking louder with my eyes than I ever had years ago, some dinosaur toy, and other clips of a life that no longer exists, all through a Rauschenberg colored lens. It's like that old life was some silly movie, where the main character should have been the embodiment of all your masculine dreams but you know if anyone else ever saw it they would probably cast joseph gordon-levitt or some other up and boring. Maybe this is because we can't see ourselves and to keep us from assuming the world exists around us we need this kind of self doubt and humility.

I love my friends, even the ones I pretend like I don't. This is good advice for myself but also something everyone should remember, your friends are your biggest fans and your source for honest and direct challenge. Without them you are at a lost for inspiration and motivation. Unknown just suck your dick or give you reasons to never have left the house.

This next thought works in two parts. Somewhere in my head, my brain keeps telling me they're related, but I'm not sure how to explain it yet. It's just a feeling for now.

For the last two months this thought has dominated the majority of my time though, and it starts with the Higgs Field and the discovery of the Boson Higgs. Without going into infinite detail on the discovery itself, how it works, etc. I will say this, the Higgs Field is what determines the mass of... well, everything. The hows and whys are a little over my head but it stands to reason even the very principle mechanics of what appears to be our cold universe are still conscious on some level.

I've also been thinking about what happens when you slow a song down. Perhaps in relation to the constant repetition, associative pathways in the brain, nostalgia, memory, etc. thinks loose their meaning or punch. Perhaps it's our wish that every time we go back to that well we get as equally high on memories as the first time we heard Fade Into You after a ten year void. But that's not true. Slowing things down on the other hand tends to give us some new context, a greater ability to appreciate something we would normally tire of or that had lost most of it's significance. Case in point...

I can't tell you how fucking happy this song makes me when it sounds like a Black Sabbath / sludge metal cover. I listened to the shit out of this song when I was 15 and wore it to fucking death. Later, in my early 20s I did the exact same thing until the song fizzled out and I all I remembered about it was a time when I enjoyed it. Until some genius slowed that shit down.

It's not like a cover or remix because that skews it too much. Dropping the seep is still somehow different. Although, interestingly enough, there are songs slowed down that I painfully enjoy that I have no previous relation to or even desire to ever listen to. Case in point...

I had never heard September's original version of this nor do I think I'd like it as much. Another odd turn of events when slowing everything down (or as Matt calls it "Mattlocking") is that I pay attention to the lyrics; while previously words only served as another melody delivery system in most songs to me.

And those are my thoughts as of late.
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